There was another party at my house. It was my roommate, Daphne, and her friend Carlos’ thing, so I didn’t invite too many people. A few of my friends came by, but by the end of the night there were twenty people in the house. None of which I knew besides my two roommates. I was fairly drunk by the end of the night and fairly obnoxious. Although, I might have to change the name of this site as I seemed to have stumbled upon the perfect pun. A 24 year old guy I’d never met was telling me what a ladies man he was. “If you only knew how much action I’ve gotten. I’ve had a ton of threesomes.
“You must be very proud of yourself.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want my conquests to get in the triple digits and get nine STDS so I’ve become a serial monogamist.”
“Does that mean you only eat one cereal?”
“No, it means…” He then gave me a detailed description about what serial monogamy is. Wit is not always appreciated.
Later my sense of humor got me in further trouble. There were two girls and a guy in the kitchen. I asked them how they all knew each other.
“We volunteer together.”
“Kids with AIDS.”
I assumed, like me, they told lies about themselves to strangers at parties. I started laughing.
“There’s nothing funny about it. Why are you laughing?”
“It’s one thing for six year olds to have sex, but you’d think they’d at least wear a condom.”
One of the girls stormed out of there in disgust. If only she’d been privy to my other conversation of note. I saw a friend of a friend and asked him how his life was. He didn’t give much of an answer, so I asked him how that girlfriend of his was.
“Which one? There’s been a lot of them.”
“That pretty girl who had that party in Silverlake.”
“Oh her. She’s history. You thought she was pretty?”
“Yeah, she looked like Anne Hathaway.”
“Do you want to see a naked picture of her? I’ve got one on my phone.”
“That’s ok.” He seemed like the kind of guy who would include a photo of his penis.
“No check it out. Here’s a pic of her ass… and my cock.” I cringed and then he flipped to a video on his phone. “Check this out.” He put on a video taken from the vantage point of her spread open legs. She was on her cell phone playing with herself.
“What a slut.” he said. “Who do you think she’s on the phone with? Her mom.” I handed him back his phone ten seconds into the fifty seven second video. “No, watch the whole thing.” he insisted. She then proceeded to penetrate her finger in and out of herself. The video ended with her sticking that same finger in her mouth and giving it a long lascivious suck. I handed him back his phone and he asked me, “You still think she’s pretty?”