Jar Jar Binks: The Movie

I’m really confused and a little bit alienated. Roger Ebert said Avatar was “Extraordinary” and worthy of four stars. Kenneth Turan of the Los Angeles Times said it “restores a sense of wonder to the moviegoing experience that has been missing for far too long.” My old buddy Scott Foundas said, “for the nearly three hours it is on-screen, Avatar is a nonstop wow.” Intelligent people I know and respect told me Avatar was touching and poignant. Why then did I come out of the theater bored and disappointed?

Maybe, it’s because I didn’t see it in 3-D. Others swore by how amazing it was when the bullets were coming towards you and the crazy floating mushrooms hover around you.

Maybe.

Or maybe when I go to a movie I expect a sense of humor. Witty dialogue. Sex appeal. Characters I care about. An interesting story.

Have I just become an old crank? If this was 1977 would I be just as disappointed coming out of Star Wars? Of course in Star Wars the love affair isn’t between Princess Leia and Chewbacca. But that would still be more interesting to me then Avatar. Why of all the characters to rip off from Star Wars, did Jim Cameron choose Jar Jar Binks?

How can a three hundred million dollar movie put out by Fox actually preach anti-militarism and environmentalism?

What are these other critics and audiences members getting out of Avatar that I’m missing?

Help me, I feel a strong disconnect with the rest of humanity.

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15 thoughts on “Jar Jar Binks: The Movie

  1. Ebert also gave a good review to Phantom Menace. I’m guessing they’re writing what they think an audience wants to hear? It took 10 years for someone to finally get support for saying Phantom Menace sucked…

  2. You want sex appeal? How hot was Sigourney’s AVATAR? Come on…

    Witty dialogue? “Don’t play with that thing, you’ll go blind.” “They’re blue monkeys… They’ll find another tree.”

    And why would you see this in 2-D? I’m hoping you saw it for free, you cheap bastard. Because if you didn’t cough up the extra bucks for 3-D, it’s not worth talking to you about the movie.

  3. Your review is spot on. But you missed one crucial element that could ultimately warrant a deeper revelation – that the public is buying these reviews hook line and sinker. They’re accepting the premise that this is a great film, and that’s utterly ridiculous.

    While I pretty much agree with anyone who calls the film a technical achievement, I vehemently disagree with those who call this a good movie or rate it above two stars. I feel like the reviewers fawning over the glorious look of the film have poisoned people into believing that they were watching greatness.

    In fact, there have been far greater advancements in technology with regard to filmmaking. These days, Digital Film advances on a J curve of technical amazement. Did this film look that much better than the recent Star Wars films? No. It improved upon those advancements but didn’t revolutionize anything. This wasn’t The Jazz Singer making everything else before it almost obsolete.

    I think the film is a must see for the same reason people go out and watch a meteor shower or a laser light show – but don’t expect anything deeper than that. If that film wins any awards beyond the technical categories, I will vomit.

  4. Yeah, your a real jerk if you can’t find anything good about this movie. Reconnect with humanity and see it on IMAX 3D, and bring a hot date for entertainment back up. Chicks love jerks!

  5. Hmmm this is the problem I have with Critics…
    They want more out of something that most don’t care about!

    Ask your self why do most go to see a Movie… Better yet why does ANYBODY see a move?

    Escapism… we are looking to be entertained!

    Did it entertain? Well to most a resounding YES!

    All art is subject to opinion…

    I guarantee there are many who that think that the Mona Lisa is a piece of Trash! and Sistine chapel is merely ancient graffiti not worth restoring..

    Am I comparing AVATAR to the Mona Lisa Sure I am! Both are visual art aka Visual entertainment… AVATAR excited me, thrilled me and above all Entertained me in 2D and 3D! For almost 3 hours…

    The Mona Lisa well is pretty Boring… and frankly disappointing… the whole experience has to be 20 mins Max if you don’t count the trip to Paris (that would be the entertainment) and the cost compared to a Movie ticket is not even worth mentioning…

    You don’t have to like the movie that’s your opinion… I just think it should be kept to yourself… I don’t see any bad reviews on the Mona Lisa that I posted anywhere because public decency calls me to respect other peoples opinions…

    I think that enough said!

  6. Dear Mr. Moran (if that is in fact your real name),
    I have no problem with escapism. I will not criticize those that stare at their trippy screensavers for hours if that’s what gets them off. You can like whatever you like. Although I might snicker behind your back when you leave the room.
    But for critics to all of a sudden change the rules of their criticisms and to universally hail Avatar as a great movie makes me think something is fishy. stay tuned to this site as in the next week I’ll unveil the conspiracy.

  7. pablochiste,
    I’m not asking Critics to change there rules or change thier mind and I’m all for constructive criticism, and a lot of critics liked this movie. The criticism I don’t like and promted my responce is the type that says that I’m stupid or something if I like this movie for more than just it’s technical aspects, I did like the story as well and the characters. I just feel that most criticism is not constructive and should be kept to ones self.

    p.s. Yes that is my real name 🙂

  8. You know, pretty much this whole movie was a rip off. Even unobtainium was used as the substance for the subterranean ship in The Core. Yet, people say that movie sucked and like nothing about it. So Cameron conveniently steals the name (along with the plot from Dances With Wolves) and suddenly it’s all a household name?

    I’m waiting for something truly original to come out of Hollywood again, something that grabs you the way Star Wars did back in 1977. This wasn’t it. In fact, comparing Avatar to films that came out around the same time, I found 2012 to be a far superior film to Avatar, and much more interesting. I’m still wondering why Avatar was even nominated for the Academy Award for both Best Director or Best Picture. Fortunately, it didn’t win either, it didn’t deserve it.

    I liked the movie, but people have made way too much over it, largely due to the special effects. They were great, no doubt, but making more money than Titanic…naaaaaaaaaah! Gone With the Wind would have crushed them all!

    Try again Hollywood, your 3-D gimmick will be almost up after 2010.

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