Super Furry Doppelganger

“Did anyone ever tell you, you look like Wolverine?”

I’m used to the kids I teach telling me I look like random celebrities. When I first started substituting I was in a mostly Black middle school named after the famed attorney, Johnny Cochran. In period two a kid told me I looked like Pee Wee Herman. This got me exceptionally anxious about my haircut. No wonder the women were turning down my advances. But then in period four I was told I looked just like the Terminator.

“Arnold Schwarzenegger? The governor?”

“Yeah.” Pee Wee Herman and Arnold Schwarzenegger in one day. I then realized to these kids all white people with dark hair looked exactly the same. 

But I earned this comparison to the famed X-Men comic book character/ movie star honestly. About two weeks ago I began work on a script. My preoccupation with it caused a blip in my shaving schedule. Missing one day and then another and then figuring I’d wait until the weekend was over before putting a stop to facial hair.  But then I decided to put some symbolism into my laziness. I will not shave until I finish the script. Every time I look in the mirror and see this mutant super hero with the metal claws and lengthy sideburns I will be reminded of my failures.

Besides, there are worse people to be compared to than Hugh Jackman. Last time I grew a beard a kid told me I looked homeless.


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