After being an underdog for so many years I imagine the karmic gods will at some point place me in a position of power. If this is the case and I gain the ability to hire and fire the below words will consist of the job interview.
1) What is it like being you?
2) What are your goals and ambitions?
3) Have you ever been convicted of any crimes?
4) If a genie granted you three wishes what would be your fourth wish?
5) How can I best exploit you?
6) At what point will you bend?
7) At what point will you push back?
8) If our place of business is on fire and you had a chance to save me or a beautiful woman who would you choose?
9) Is the glass half full or are we out of beer?
10) You have the chance to steal twenty bucks a day indefinitely without ever getting caught. Or you can steal a million dollars but the police would be on your tail. What would you choose?
11) You have killed a man. The FBI, the mafia, and your ex-girlfriend are after you. Will you call in and let us know you will be missing work?
Thank you for applying to Pablo Chiste Industries. We will let you know our decision by the end of the week.