There are people in this world who are even cheaper than me. They are called Europeans.
Because of this fact many restaurants in Miami Beach have included safeguards to protect themselves from this miserly bastion of society. Even in parties with less than six people restaurants here automatically tack on an 18 percent gratuity charge on each bill. Their politically correct excuse is that European culture is not vested in the art of tipping as they are in listening to techno music or spitting on Gypsies.
But I believe this step toward involuntary gratuity should be taken a step further. Since even if your server treats your food as though it were a Gypsy in your presence you are still expected to tip we might as well not only include the tax and tip on all bills, that price should also be listed on all menus. If gas stations must list the price of gasoline on their signs with all taxes included, why shouldn’t all restaurants be forced to do the same? This way you know your $9 sandwich actually calls you 11.07.
Do not give me the capitalist rationale that this will cause waiters to lose their incentive to provide better service. Generous customers will still have the opportunity to leave an added tip or when faced with lousy service the ability to stew all day that not even the waiters will give you any respect.
But as long as we are regulating the restaurant industry I would like to make adjustments toward another injustice. The minimum wage in Florida is $7.25 an hour, that is unless you work a job where there are tips. Then the minimum wage is an hourly rate of $4.34. So this means more money comes out of Subway’s pockets toward their employees than it does at a fancy restaurant where an entrée will cost 30 dollars. How is this acceptable? Shouldn’t minimum wage be just that, minimum wage?
Now a final couple question on this topic. I remember in old cartoons if you did not have the money to pay for the tab you were sent to the kitchen to wash dishes. Is this option still available and if so what do they do with the dishwasher?