A Lack Of Vision

People who see the depth of my spectacles  ask if I’m usually wearing contacts. The answer is no. I’ll wear my glasses when I’m driving, if I’m at a poker table, or if I go to a sports bar to watch a game, but other than that the minimalist in me likes to keep my face light and free.

I’ve been living by the philosophy that the world is a beautiful place if you don’t look too closely. Your apartment isn’t such a mess if you can’t see the crumbs of food all over the carpet. Those aren’t gray hairs on your head if you can’t see them in the reflection. That girl you’re making out with doesn’t have a mole on her mole.

Ignorance is bliss and so is blindness. I’ve got built in excuses for why my basketball and tennis games are mediocre. I can’t see the damn ball. If I miss a spot while shaving, I couldn’t see the reflection. It’s much more pleasant to blame outside factors than to have to look at yourself. Especially since you can’t see yourself without wearing glasses.

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4 thoughts on “A Lack Of Vision

  1. The other day my mom asked me a question pertaining to vision. She sometimes has blood pressure issues, and it does funny things to her body as a result. The question she asked me, and I quote, “Do you ever wake up in the morning and have blurry vision sometimes, just for no real reason?”

    Now, for the record, my mom is a natural blonde. This question can be ranked up there with some of her all-time, hall of fame questions, such as the time she walked up to a guy in the grocery store and asked, “Can you tell me where you keep your nuts?” The poor guy turned three shades of red after that question.

    Or the time she asked a child from England, “Would you like a sucker?” My mother learned about cultural and nationality differnces that day, because in England the word sucker translates as a woman’s breast. Now, in her defense, she had no idea about this, but it was still funny as hell!

    So, me being the crass person that I am sometimes and knowing my mom was actually seriously asking me this question about blurry vision knowing full well that her son has worn glasses since he was 10 years old, I responded as any son would, “Mom, when I wake up in the morning my vision is blurry ALL THE TIME!” We all got a really good laugh, as usual.

    But yes, blurry vision does make the world a much difference place, whether from natural processes, age, alcohol intoxication, pepper spray, medication, or wearing your glasses and contacts at the same time (which I’ve done, I am the son of a blonde). But I wouldn’t give up my glasses or contacts for anything and Lasik surgery…fuhgitaboutit!

      • You don’t have a choice–there is a speculum in your eye during the surgery holding your eye open, so you can’t close your eye, no matter how hard you try!!

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