Shake Your Tail Feather

In Neil Strauss’ classic tome on the art of picking up women, “The Game”, he refers countless times to the strategy of peacocking. Peacocking means you wear something crazy, like a ten gallon cowboy hat or black lipstick or a t-shirt that asks, “What are you looking at dicknose?’ It relies on the idea that you need an apparel that makes you stand out from the rest of the masses so that a woman might notice you amongst the crowd.

I was never convinced of the veracity of this strategy until I biked through Crandon Park where there were a crowd of actual peacocks. There were about ten of them running around like they owned the place. If you have never seen one they have a funny gait, reminiscent of a turkey. The males have those long beautiful tails that I assume weigh down their pace.

One of those peacocks had its tail feathers erect. It was a majestic sight. Six feet high with a wide diameter and some of the most beautiful colors found this side of a Crayola crayon box. And sure enough there was a female peacock rapt in attention while the rest of the males with their feathers down were left alone in the corner.

Neil Strauss and Charles Darwin, two of the more astute observers of nature and how society evolved from it.

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4 thoughts on “Shake Your Tail Feather

  1. When I first read the title, with your vicinity being in Miami, I thought this might have been an allusion to Bad Boys II. However, had any peacocks appeared in that movie it’s quite possible the entire population would be extinct just from the car chase scene alone. You can enter whatever comment you want about the acting, but that flick is awesome!

    I’ve only seen a peacock once, on a field trip with the Cub Scouts when I was in 4th grade. It was a pretty bird, but what I remember most was a couple of guys from the pack trying to antagonize said peacock. That bird made a b-line at them, full fan of feathers. I’ve never seen two kids run faster in my life, and I was on the track team.

    I guess that particular peacock must have been the inspiration for Mark Wahlberg’s character in The Other Guys. “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly!”

    “AMERICA!!!”

    • I have never seen any of the Bad Boys movies. But I think it’s time Hollywood gets rid of typecasting and starts casting more animals in human roles. Bad Boys 3 could team up Will Smith with a peacock and have them go after a corrupt cub scout troop who are storing a deadly street drug drugs in their merit badges.

  2. You mean, like how I was peacocking in Game 4 while LeBron stood in the corner and watched?

    Mr. Chiste, you should tell your Heat that the last two minutes of the game aren’t for playing dodgeball. I could have been hit.

    • Touche.
      I have caught whatever ailment you have been carrying, Dirk. I am literally sick over the fact that you had a 102 degree fever and at no time during the Heat’s 4th quarter collapse did anyone on the coaching staff think it might be a good idea to attack the sickly German.

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