Cleanliness Is Next To…

When is a shower unhygienic?

I found the answer to this riddle after walking away from the calm Atlantic. I wanted to clean my feet from all the sand. It was a weekday afternoon, so there wasn’t a long line of beachgoers wanting to do the same. But the shower was occupied by two Indian men. One was being reasonable with the amount of time spent cleaning the salt off his body. The other man was soaping himself up in a thick lather. White foam covered every inch of his body before he got under the faucet. It took quite a while for the water to push the soap off of him. By this time a couple other people lined up behind me to use the shower. Enough more time elapsed where we started cursing under our breaths. 

And then more time passed. 

Soapy, as we began to unofficially call him was not relenting. He stroked his arms, then his legs, and then went beyond all social norms  by beginning to wash the inside of his bathing suit. I have been taught that proper urinal etiquitte entails that more than two shakes of your member crosses the line from finishing your business and playing with yourself. This man went way beyond that. He stroked himself with such thoroughness that the  line which had now grown quite sizable began laughing and catcalling him.

Finally Soapy finished and walked off with his friend and wife. I washed off my feet real quick and the next guy to use the faucet asked me, “Hey man, you got any soap?”


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