No Shit Sherlock – Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

Early on in the new sequel Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows the title character is described as being on a combination of caffeine and coca leaves. When you watch this movie you wonder if that line was an inside joke for the filmmakers who were under the influence of the same ingredients.

Just as a cokehead will not shut up, neither does this movie. It easily shatters the record for number of words spoken in 120 minutes.  This is not to say that the movie is necessarily awful just that when it finished I would not be able to summarize to you what it was that I saw. The movie is so jam packed with plot and dialogue and shifting from one amazingly opulent set to another that it gives you no time to digest what the hell is going on. 

Best I could tell Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes is in love with Jude Law as Dr. Watson. Dr. Watson has gotten married and Sherlock manages to squeeze in one last romantic adventure before Watson’s honeymoon. But I could see why Watson would want to leave Sherlock. Sherlock’s got too much cocaine on the brain. Even his thoughts move a thousand miles a minute. He’s always thinking everything out twenty steps before they happen. I’ve heard of divorces being filed because one partner finishes the other’s sentences, could you imagine how difficult it would be if your lover finished your actions?

I thought of leaving Sherlock Holmes too, of walking out and trying to start a relationship with a new movie in the multiplex, but it left me too exhausted and weak in the knees to do so. I no longer knew if I could handle a quiet moment or a scene lasting more than forty-five seconds or a weapon being fired without being shown the mechanics of how the weapon worked. So I stayed with him to the end. But Sherlock Holmes reminds you while it might be difficult to leave an addict, if you had the chance to start from scratch, you should stay far away.


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