The Legend Of The Forbidden Toilet

A couple Sundays ago I was watching football at an acquaintance’s house. There were only three of us watching the game. Halftime came and I didn’t see a lavatory readily available so I asked the host, “Where’s your bathroom?”

“You can’t use it.”

I laughed because obviously he was pulling my leg. “No seriously. I don’t let anyone use it.”

“He doesn’t.” the third party informed me.

“Come on man. I got to go.”

“Is it a number one or a number two?”

“Just a number one. I’ll be super quick.”

“No, it’s a rule I have. I let people use it and they always piss all over the toilet seat.”

“You’d have let me go if it was a number two?”

“No. Are you kidding? You’d stink it up.”

“So why did you ask?”

“I was just thinking of bathrooms I’d recommend for you to use.”

“Why don’t I just use your kitchen sink?”

“You can use one right down the street. It’s really clean. It’s where I get all my toilet paper when I’m running low.”

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