Mayan Apocalypse Now

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With the Mayan calendar ending this December 21 nobody knows what to expect. The world might explode, it might implode, pigs might fly in the sky, or it just might be another day where the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

To hedge our bets Pablo Chiste Industries will be closing our offices on December 20 and 21 to allow our employees to carpe diem for what might be their final day on the mortal plane (don’t worry, if nothing happens on December 21, 2012 we’ll have them make up the hours on Christmas and New Year’s). Before they left for either a four day weekend or an eternal weekend I gave them an exit interview on how they would spend their last 24 hours on Earth.

Seymour Glass (Proofreader): I’m going to injoy some time with my wfe and kids. Maybe well hit a movie get a byte to eat at Bagel time, and tease the kids a lttle about how there not as tall and smart as me.

Glenda Goyer (Receptionist): Gosh, I think I might go get my nails done, call up my nephews and nieces, then maybe I’ll hit that swingers club I’ve heard so much about. I heard you haven’t lived until you’ve been with two guys at once. You know, one in the front and one in the back. Either that or I’ll make it an early night and stay home and watch some NCIS.

Babs McCoy (Art Department): There’s no work tomorrow? I’m going to get drunk and then maybe get crunk and then I’m going to key the cars of every jerk wh did me wrong. No, I wasn’t the one who keyed your car. I’ve never been mad at you. Oh yeah, I was pretty pissed when you told me to come to work sober. But that’s all water under the bridge.

Leroy Jenkins (Fumigator): I’m going to kill me some bugs. I got some unfinished business with them sons of bitches and if I’m going down I’m taking as many of them with me as I can.

Pablo Chiste (Fictional Corporate Mascot): I will finish a bottle of rum and spit in the face of any heathen who dares interrupt me as I compose a perfect sentence.

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3 thoughts on “Mayan Apocalypse Now

  1. It’s quite appropriate that you are gearing up for the end as apparently you are dreading having to play yours truly for a trip to the championship in The Brenchak Fantasy Football League. This is your only recourse for preventing inevitable defeat? Hoping the world blows up ala Mayan style? Did you know the Mayans also predicted a panzy would be born and they will call him Pablo, which means, “He that likes it in the butt.” Your mother wasn’t too proud that day, I can tell ya.lol. As for me and my family, I have to work tonight AND tomorrow night. That’s how I know the world won’t end because I couldn’t be off. But, in case it does end, it’s been a pleasure reading your post over the years and whipping you like a step child in football as well. Those Brenchaks, they attract all sorts. Now, go eat some Vegan slop and save some money so you can pay me when I win the championship!lol

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