On or around Valentine’s Day you might be more likely to listen and follow other’s wisdom about romantic matters. When you are alone everyone else seems to have a companion. Be careful who you listen to. Everyone’s an expert when it comes to love. If you are having trouble with your love life, suddenly there are a million people with advanced degrees in relationship counseling. Of course, no one has more confidence in their matchmaking and seduction strategies than those who have already shacked up. With that being said here is unsolicited advice to both sexes.
1) The woman is always right. Even if she says the sky is green and you are saying the sky is blue, you will not win that argument. Concede defeat and move on.
2) Women do not consider jokes at their expense to be funny. Whoopy cushions under her seat, no matter how hilarious the situation, will not win her over.
3) Single guys, it is never a wise idea for you to go out with a group of married friends. They will live vicariously and offer advice that will inevitably cause more harm than good. “You see that girl over there, she’s giving you the eye.” they will tell you. You will doubt their sincerity, but eventually they will call you chicken shit in enough variations that you will walk over to her. If the conversation goes awry, you will hear from this expert what you did wrong. If you exchange contact information you will hear how to proceed. It is of no importance that this advisor might be married to a woman with a hunchback that he drinks every night to forget. in fact the more he hates his mate the more likely he is to dispense advice.
4) Always make sure to compliment her on her shoes.
1) Yes, he wants you for the sex.
2) If you allow a man to buy you a drink, he will not leave you alone as he will consider this a tacit agreement that you will sleep with him later that evening.
3) Heterosexual men do not care about your shoes. Any compliment he gives about footwear comes from advice he received from a guide on how to pick up women.
4) Men do not consider jokes at the expense of their penis to be funny.