Nine Months


At this point I have lived for over 400 months, so nine months did not sound like  a long time.  But we have had the knowledge that we conceived a child for only five months and it seems like an eternity with there still being three months left to go.

I know I am old when I have forgotten how utterly long nine months can be. It can’t be a coincidence that a school year lasts the same amount of time as a full pregnancy. Both seem to have the same rhythms except for the fact that summer vacations don’t involve changing diapers.

The duration of pregnancy seems even longer for my Love Interest as she is the one dealing with nausea, tiredness, and the fact that she can no longer partake in wild Saturday nights of drunken abandon or mundane Monday afternoons sniffing paint fumes. She often says she wishes I could be the one who was pregnant.

Keep wishing, but not too hard since it can’t be that far away that science will make pregnant men a reality. In this era of artificial insemination, egg donors and where in the city of Miami over fifty percent of women have c-sections a man will undoubtedly be able to carry a baby to term in the near future. I am unsure which men would volunteer for this endeavor. I nominate pro-life activists.


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