Urban Beach Weekend

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Every Memorial Day Weekend thousands of African-Americans flock to Miami Beach. This of course causes people of other races to panic. The island becomes a police state with uniformed officers on every block and the non-touristy sections of Miami Beach have the feel of a ghost town with all Caucasians and Hispanics avoiding it like a plague.

I suppose the fact that last year’s Urban Beach Weekend capped off with a man getting his face eaten could justify the increased police presence, but obviously there is a heavy dose of racism for why they treat this weekend differently from when knuckleheads with paler complexions come during Spring Break. If there are going to be so many cops on the Beach how about enforcing the litter laws from all these jerks who treat our coast like a sewer? Instead the police are more of a nuisance than the dark skinned people they’re supposedly protecting Miami Beach residents from.

On Saturday night at 9 PM what should have been a ten minute drive on the causeway back to the beach was stretched into an hour commute as they narrowed the three lane highway into one lane where a phalanx of cops pointed their flashlights at each passing car.  As the cars crept along I looked out at my neighbors. There was an SUV riddled with bullet holes, but it was driven by two Hispanic dudes. There was also a sedan of Black guys in their twenties talking to a lone Black girl. As the girl drove by me I noticed something.

Nipples.

She was driving her car topless. As she caught me staring she shook her left breast with her hand several times and winked. I am unsure if she made it on to Miami Beach or if the police protected us from her.

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