New Year’s Resolutions


This year I will…

Remember age is just a number.

Make every day matter.

Not rob any banks or convenience stores.

Stick with the sweet talk and stay away from the sour and bitter.

Stop watching Marvel’s Agents of Shield.

Accept compliments from fortune cookies and not belittle them for failing to provide any fortune in that compliment.

Figure out once and for all if there is a God.

Stop having delusions of grandeur.

Start biting off more than I can chew, but not so much that I will choke and depend on someone around me knowing the Heimlich maneuver.

Learn the Heimlich maneuver.

Learn other maneuvers that might come in handy, like how to play the harmonica.

Forget I ever made this list in a week.


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