Sometimes when the writing thing isn’t going too well I consider that I might be in the wrong racquet, that I’m missing out on my true calling. The thing I do best, even better than criticizing and ridiculing, is advising. Nobody can pass along sound wisdom, solicited and otherwise quite like I can. Since there’s not too much royalty around to serve as council, the best way to make a fortune in that line of work is by becoming a life coach.
The first step towards this career path is buying a domain name with your name followed by the words “life coach”. The second step is printing out business card with your name, your web site, phone number, and job description, “life coach”. You don’t need to bother with office space, your clientele will be happy to meet with you in a park, Starbucks or the lobby of a busy office building.
The first key towards being a successful life coach is to be unwavering, whatever you say no matter how ridiculous must be said with 100% certainty. Your clients are like dogs who can smell doubt and will then run towards your competition.
The second key is never give a solution with one step. Even if your client complains of loneliness and the solution obvious to everyone is to hand them the number of an escort service, there must be a list of steps towards their finding inner peace, a financially rewarding career, or a cure to their peanut allergy. If the solution to their problems are so simple that they need not write anything down, your services might seem unnecessary.
The third key is listen to your clients, but when listening do not react with “Quit your god damn whining!” They usually do not show up for their second consultation after such a response.
The fourth and most important step is only accept cash for your services. The people in need of a life coach are generally not so reliable with their finances.