Cute little child play with book and glasses while sitting at table, isolated over white

To those without kids it seems idiotic the way new parents boast about how their children can do the simplest task. Facebook feeds are filled with Moms and Dads sharing with the the world wide web about how their child mispronounced some word or fell flat on their face after taking their first step or some other simple feat that most any idiot can accomplish after downing a bottle or two of cheap liquor.

What those that haven’t been around newborns might not realize is when we enter this world we are not much more coordinated or cognizant than a sack of potatoes. The only two recognizable skills infants have over root vegetables is the ability to cry and expel bodily fluids. So it seems somewhat miraculous when your little turnip can now crawl or your parsnip is picking up a crayon and drawing.

But I try to keep it on the down low when my little rutabaga does something new, because I know the only thing people hate more than a complainer is a braggart. Still, there was a morning where I couldn’t help myself. We live on the second floor and most of the time when we take our daughter downstairs we count down the steps. That particular morning I started “One, two, three, fo–”

I stopped because I thought I heard another voice chiming in. And sure enough my daughter kept counting even though I had stopped. “Five, six, eight, nine.” She skipped a number, but I still was blown away. Where did this come from? I know by her age Tiger Woods could already swing a golf club and Mozart might have already written a symphony, but her being able to count at the age of two seemed supernatural.

So when we got to the playground and she started climbing up the ladder to the slide and a Mom of another two year old said hi and asked how I was doing I couldn’t help myself but to become one of those parents. “Amazing! This girl is able to count!”

Her response has me convinced there is intelligent design of the universe and this woman was created just to put me in my place. “She can do it in Spanish too right?” she asked. “My daughter’s been counting in both languages since 18 months.”


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