Zikapocalypse Now

A flea nearly brought down Western civilization when the Bubonic Plague took a tour of Europe centuries ago, but I’m still not sure how seriously we should take this Zika virus.

They say the sexually transmitted virus only exists in a mosquito that lives in a three mile radius in Miami. But this as we all know is complete and utter non-sense. If this virus traveled thousands of miles from Brazil to Miami in the matter of months, there are flying bugs and sexy people spreading it already at least as far as Kendall and Pembroke Pines.

They say Zika does not hurt most carriers. It will at worst cause flu symptoms, unless you are pregnant, then your poor child will have a misshapen and deformed head.

It is probably nothing. A couple years ago the news media was trying to sell us on the idea that Ebola will be the end of us all, before that was the avian flu, AIDS, and carpal-tunnel syndrome.

But odds are one day the fear-mongers will be right. It will all end for humanity. Or at the very least humanity’s idea of a perfectly proportional head.

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